Still

THE World is happening; it's all happening so fast. It's happening at a rate that feels not worth mentioning because it's bound to happen anyway. But I'm mentioning it now. It's all so fast. It's so fast that you have one chance of stepping off the merry-go-round to take a look at your life from a panoramic view, instead of a spinning one. That one chance lies in your ability to shut off any sound, light, wind and thought but this one: Be still and know the person of God. I've put it off for days at a time; I've pushed it aside for the silliest reasons. I've ignored it to my own regret and buried it for louder passions. I've feared the silence in which I can hear my own thoughts, because my own thoughts are intimidating. But still, in spite of that,there it is. Him. Speaking all along. Ignoring this is much like holding a pencil in my hand, longing to write with it a message but only using the eraser. Ridiculous. That is what it is. I know this. My future me knows this. It bypasses moral dilemma, religion, and spiritual reason, and pools into general insanity. There are those who do the craziest things for the dumbest reasons leading to unrewarding results. Then there are those who don't do the best things for no reason at all resulting in simple regret. Perpetually, which equals insanity. So I have felt, again, The Challenge. To Not Be Moved. To break the repetitive sludge of conforming to the world at my finger tips, by stopping long enough to get quiet. To taste and see that He is good. I write this as a person looking through a kaleidoscope darkly, a moving soul strapped in a reluctant sinewy flesh. We all have this body, yet in it the ability to take a step toward Him. I'm finding that the battlefield is indeed the mind, and if I keep my mind on Jesus the water is walkable. It seems to be the Key. To all the stuttering questions, all the restless darting about of eyes, all the unshaped longings I've had my entire life. I'm beginning to think He wants us to lock into His eyes, because what we behold, we become. He must be the most secure being in the universe. It's something He's been surely and slowly working in me, no matter how many times I've fearfully, acidically pulled back. This has been a struggle for me, but I'm stirred to excitement; what motivates me to push in, move forward, and be still is that He is always there waiting for me to do just that. You may not be like me, trying to sit tight and zen-like on a merry-go-round life structure, but I hope this helps you as it has helped me. To remind myself once again, to be still.:)